Alison Driscoll

Anyone else noticed the recent upswing in celebrity “voice overs” or narration or whatever you want to call it? So far I’ve heard:

• Kevin Spacey for Honda
• John Corbett (Aidan on Sex and the City) for AppleBee’s (Way less annoying than Wanda Sykes, thank you!)
• David Duchovny for Purina (Which no one believed for a long time…probably ‘cuz most non X-philes don’t know who he is.)
• Patrick Dempsey for StateFarm (Swoon, I’m sold, but he is wasted behind the camera…put him on screen!)
• Stanley Tucci for ATT
• Gene Hackman for Lowe’s
• John Goodman for Dunkin Donuts (The worst ads I have ever seen. I love Hill Holiday but they need to start over. There’s no saving this campaign.)

So what’s the deal with all these talented actors going behind the camera to do voice work? I’ve always thought of that as something you start with and work your way out of, not back to. These may not all be huge stars or timeless actors, but they’re all fairly recognizable names. Kevin Spacey and Gene Hackman each have two Oscar wins, Goodman’s got a Globe and an Emmy, Tucci’s got a Tony nod…the list goes on.

My first thought was “writers’ strike,” but some of the campaigns started running before the strike began. Are they just that hard up? I doubt Gene Hackman needs to do commercials at this point in his career; he could surely find a role he likes, and if not, he’s probably not strapped for cash.

For the celeb, a commercial is easy money for easy work, and they can command more than a voice actor. They also get the chance to lend their vocal chords to a product they love or a cause they support. It’s something different for them, and I’m guessing an ego boost to be asked to be “the voice” of something.

As for the companies hiring stars for their famous phrasing? First, they can afford a bigger star for voice work than they could as an on-screen spokesperson. But the real power in using a famous voice is the “inside joke” it sets up with viewers. If you can correctly identify your favorite celebrity in a commercial, you establish a bond with that product.

I would never give State Farm a second thought if it weren’t for Patrick Dempsey. But the instant I heard his voice, they became the “cooler” (at least in my head) insurance company. State Farm also made me cooler, because I was in on the joke. Where some “less cool” viewers just heard a commercial, I heard a brand being built.

Heard any other celebrity commercials? Let me know who, or better yet, leave a link so I can check it out. Also love to hear more theories on why they do this, or the effect it has on you.

UPDATE: Michael Clarke Duncan for Quizno’s

‘Cuz I can totally see someone, hammered, having this incredible revelation that “we should advertise on the moon!” And then sobering it into Rolling Rock’s Moonvertising promotion.

I drove by the Boston Moonvertising billboard several times (it’s on my way to work) before I remembered to Google the term. I’ll admit I was duped into thinking some ridiculously cheesy advertising/technology company was going to try to buy/sell ad space on the moon. Yep, look up “gullible” and you’ll find my picture. In my defense, I drive too fast and don’t have the greatest eyesight, so I couldn’t really make out the logo.

But I did go to the site eventually, so their old-school outdoor ad worked. Kind of.

The Moonvertising site dropped the ball, in a lot of ways. It’s slow, kind of confusing, and not nearly as cool as I’d hoped. A lot of hype, not a lot of hip. I like where they’re going with the full moon parties, but they’re only in 3 states (I think; the scrolling action was really bad) and I’m not driving to Jersey for a beer I don’t really have any affinity for.

But, I love the Rolling Rock brand for trying, so I stayed on the site and hoped it delivered the cool factor I so desperately was waiting for. It didn’t. Just a few not-so-funny videos and the amusing realization that people think they are actually going to try to beam their logo onto the moon. With lasers. (Insert Austin Powers joke here.)

I love them for trying, and the creativity is great, but the website is disappointing, to say the least. They obviously wanted to create a viral campaign that would get people talking (there’s a lot of uncertainty about whether they will attempt a Moonvertisement on March 21st; my guess is no).

I realized I’ve started analyzing TV rather than watching it, which has totally changed my viewing behavior. I’m all about the TV/internet integration/cross promotion (apologies for the excess slashing) a la (anyone know how to do accents in WordPress?) QuarterLife, Lost and Greek. I also am loving/scrutinizing LipStick Jungle, but not for the internet bit as much.

I’m still on the fence about QuarterLife, ‘cuz the main character, Dylan, is super annoying, at least to me. Totally think her Pilot Ep opener was one of the major reasons the show tanked on NBC and got pulled after that one episode. Watch it and try to tell me that doesn’t make you want to change the channel. Online you can skip or jump around; on TV, you’re stuck cringing (unless you had the forethought to DVR the show) or changing the channel. And that was a death sentence for QuarterLife. Bye-bye internet-TV crossover.

I don’t actually watch Lost, but they do some cool stuff with the internet, including fictional sites that pretend Oceanic 815 is a real plane (and airline), provide clues and further the show. There’s also a Lostpedia and an Alternate Reality Game (ARG), stuff that’s way over my head but reminds me of my brief obsession with LonelyGirl15.

Greek is a cheesy ABC Family show that I forgot to watch after one or two episodes. However, it’s back for Season 2 so I guess they didn’t need my viewership. It’s of interest to me not so much for the quality of the program (Scott Michael Foster is a cutie though, and very lovable on QuarterLife) but its internet tie-in, VirtualRush, where you can “rush” online and interact with the show.

LipStick Jungle is my only “must-see-TV” right now, but not for any great internet relevance, more on the marketing side. Maybelline is doing an old-school sponsorship promotion (”presented by” and all that) and plugging their new products–hard–in the most flagrant product placement I’ve ever seen. However, I think LipStick Jungle has huge potential in this niche, if they can just tone it down a little. Nearly everything mentioned in Sex & the City took off; at least a little of that magic must be left.

Coincidently, Quarterlife is doing some great product placement with Toyota Scions. Moral of this post? Everything can be traced back to QuarterLife? Not quite, but I respect what the creators are trying to do. And if you can make me watch despite wanting to smack your main character, that’s saying something.

Definitely “lol”ed when I saw this commercial the other night. However, once my Julie Roberts-esque cackling subsided, I started to think about the subtext of the ad (as I am wont to do), and my brain was off and running. Watch the 15 second clip, then finish reading while you wait for your pizza to arrive.

Domino’s and CP + B are helping to further my theory that advertising is more sexist to men these days than to women. I alluded to that in this post and I’ve become increasingly aware and convinced of this shift since. Traditionally sexist ads and images of women are being turned around to make fun of themselves and old stereotypes, so men have become the new fall guy used to inject laughter into otherwise humorless ads.

Women can laugh at this average joe’s misguided attempt at romance. Tip: greasy pizza and rushed sex does not an orgasm make, my friend. Men will laugh at the guy’s expense, ‘cuz who wants to be that two-pump-chump?

What I think is really funny is the expression on the woman’s face. She’s so earnest and sincere; she doesn’t mock her man, but asks very honestly and seriously what they will do for the other 28 minutes. This is where the real humor could have come from in this ad, if they had taken it a step further and had some great sarcastic line for her. Or gone the over-the-top, macho route and had him demanding a blow job (or something TV appropriate) from the couch while dialing Domino’s.

I could be wrong, and while my versions of the ad demonstrate why I am not working in TV commercials and am best suited for the internet, somewhere in that sex crazed text above is a valid point. Men can’t take a joke the way women can, even to sell more pizza. Or beer. Or whatever will make them money. So their egos are doomed to remain larger than their…wallets.

Yep, that’s right, Merry Christmas. Not Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings. ‘Cuz you know what? Tomorrow is Christmas, not Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or any other Wintery holiday. So Merry Christmas to all.

For whatever reason, I didn’t really get into the Christmas spirit much this year; I really think the internet has taken a toll on my festive-ness. I did a lot more shopping online and consequently was waaaaaay more annoyed by the mall than in past years, when mall shopping was almost guaranteed to put me in a merry mood. I also started thinking about how much of this holiday really is just about advertising…but more on that once Christmas is officially over, I don’t want to be the Scrooge in my family.

Then, there are all the Christmas vs. Holiday debates. I’ve been annoyed by the PC-ness of this issue in the past, but never noticed its full extent until I became more active in the blogosphere.

I also broke my wrist (and yes, my cast is pink), which makes shopping and baking, my two most favorite Christmas activities, very difficult. Even online shopping; I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to type with a cast on but, it is a biznatch, let me tell you. And as of yet, I’ve not discovered online baking, so there goes my other creative Christmas outlet.

In short, the internet has Grinched me this year. The etailers have isolated me from the masses, and the blogosphere has educated me on the horridly money-driven consumerism we dress up as Christmas. Then, to make matters worse, even this all-powerful network could not bake me a batch of Christmas cookies.

So, unless mommy dearest has been keeping up with my blog and got me some USB bling, I’ve lost my faith in the internet. I’m going back to Santa; he never left me spam.

Finally, someone is in my corner, defending the recently legal drinkers in the work force…OK, so they called us “the young” and it’s Advertising Age, a print publication that is traditional media-centric and still trying to get the hang of this new-fangled internet ‘thang…but still. At last, some “authority” came out and admitted that “the young aren’t stupid.”

I was super excited when I first read this post, as I deal with pig-headed clients who refuse to listen to or accept my advice once they’ve met me and realized how old I am. I’ve also been told I don’t “look smart.” It was meant as a compliment, but who knows.

Anyway, my point is, Advertising Age, a somewhat stodgy and “the man” of old-school advertising, had to tell people we are a force to be reckoned with. My issue is not with the blog post, but with the fact that it warranted being written.

As the youngest member of the BU faculty, Jonathon Feit undoubtedly has dealt with much more ageism than I could ever encounter. I understand his frustrations with present day dinosaurs, and I applaud him for finding a way to make people sit up and listen, ‘cuz hey, I’m doing the same thing right here. What upsets me is where it ran.

I’m assuming Feit, or some editor somewhere, thought the only way to grab the ageists’ attention was to get it in “their” press. Good thinking, except you used the blog, not the print magazine, which is what the very people you’re targeting put more stock in. Strike one.

Now, as much as I enjoyed reading the post (which is my next problem with it, but we’ll get there), I’m not the one being convinced. To really convince the target demographic, I think an author in the same age bracket as the target would have been more effective. Strike two.

Unless, of course, Feit wanted to direct it towards the old dogs to disguise a simple self-congratulatory pat-on-the-back post. I know I liked it, but I’m the choir; does he really think he’s going to get these old dogs turning tricks? Strike three, you’re out.

Definitely read “The Young Aren’t Stupid-but They Are Changing Your World” if you already believe that. Chances are, if you’re here, you figured that out on your own. If not, check out some amazing young’uns I only sometimes dare to compare myself to, like Amanda Gravel and Dan Zarrella. They truly demonstrate just how, like, not stupid we totally aren’t.

I’ve often asked if all marketing is sexist, and I think the answer is yes. Or at least, all advertising is offensive, if you look hard enough. 

Advertising works on the principle that something is wrong or missing, and the product being advertised will solve that problem. To get that point across, someone must be portrayed as stupid, lazy or incompetent-in a word, inferior. Women were always the easy scapegoat, so old “classic” ads used women to show how the product they were hawking would make their lives better, by giving them more time, praise, love…whatever.

So, if advertising is simply reflecting the times and mores of society, perhaps we need to change in the hopes advertising will follow, instead of expecting them to sell us values and useless consumer products. I’ve seen a shift in commercials recently as they start to portray men as helpless and unintelligent. But is this a step forward or across? Improvement or redirection of sexism?

I came across this book of old, exceedingly sexist ads which I think gets at a point I made about the Heineken commercial. These “classic” ads are hilarious now because they are so over the top that we can’t take them seriously. But, they were seriously degrading when they were first released.

While it’s obvious we’ve come a long way, I maintain that advertising will always be sexist, or racist, or ageist, or some other -ist that alludes to some form of stereotype, because it is easier to sell that way. It’s just a question of who the next scapegoat will be.

 Oh, and the book is definitely being added to my Christmas list. Please let me know of any similar books or memorabilia that might be of interest, ‘cuz I’ve been very good this year.

I totally got swept up in the holidays already, and it’s barely Thanksgiving. This whole Christmsas shopping thing is becoming a bigger, and longer, marketing ploy every year.  Now, if I were talking about anything other than advertising campaigns, bigger and longer might be a good thing, but it seems like Christmas comes earlier every year (not a good thing in any situation), convincing us to shop early and spend often. But does that stop me from buying into it? ‘Course not, I just use it as an excuse. But more on that later.

As of (Black) Friday, my absolute favorite holiday, I will officially be in the clear to get in the Chri$tmas spirit and start paying some ad execs’ salaries. However, I couldn’t resist sharing this cool article on fun, funky and functional techie gifts just a little bit early.

I personally would love to  see a Swarovski crystal USB memory key under my tree this year. Impractical? Maybe. Pretty? Definitely. And therein lies the marketing genius.

I’m nothing if not girlie. Princess-like at times. And I’ve never pretended otherwise, which I think is why I had a hard time being taken seriously when I first started working at an internet marketing company-the male-dominated office was a microcosm for the entire industry. However, things are changing and  more and more girlie-girls are entering the “man’s world” of computers.

Smart technology companies are taking the “pinking” theory one step further and encouraging women to purchase computer accessories and electronics by making them more feminine. Gone are the boring black laptop bags and lost hours at BestBuy; Target, Coach, Apple, Dell and Sony are just a few of the enlightened brands making tech products and accessories more appealing to females.

Some may call it a cheap marketing trick (what other kind is there?); others think it dumbs down or de-professionalizes the industry or work place. I think it stylizes things women need anyway, so what’s the harm? If I have to carry a laptop case anyway, it might as well match my outfit. As long as I’m still doing my job well, why does it matter that my iPod is accessorized with a pink suede case from Coach and my laptop stays safe in a cute polka dot tote?

I’ve been contemplating dying my hair for awhile now, and last night I came thisclose to doing it. Dark. REAL dark. I figured it was time for a change; I’ve spent my whole life identifying myself as a blonde (yes, it started out natural…no one knows for sure what color I’d be now, not even my hairdresser). I had nearly talked myself into it too, running through a list of actresses who look amazing as both platinum blondes and a deep brunettes. Reese Witherspoon Walked the Line from Legally Blonde to chestnut brown. Why couldn’t I?

Because blonde has become part of my identity; it’s how I define myself. I’ve spent a large part of my life playing up the dumb blonde stereotype, using it to my advantage and preying on people’s assumptions of me, than surprising them once they thought they had me figured out. Our culture is full of blonde jokes, and I played into every single one of them. I bought the t-shirts, idolized the ditzy blonde celeb of the week. But at some point, being blonde stopped being one of many adjectives to describe me and became my main definition. I was a blonde-fun, flirty, über female.

Just look at my blog; it’s built on this “catch them off guard” idea. I’ve branded myself as a blonde in every aspect of my life. But at what point does this blonde brand stop being an extension of one as a person and completely take over?

Blonde has become a marketing strategy; not even being blonde, just blonde. It is no longer a physical trait, but a way of life, a personality type. There are tons of products that play to our advertiser-driven “blondes have more fun” philosophy.

Blonding works in much the same way that “pinkwashing” does; turn any product you can into some type of blonde joke or reference and watch sales soar. The brunette backlash brought a whole new slew of pro-brunette and anti-blonde products that merely perpetuate the worn out “blondes are better” ideal.

Essentially, advertisers are pitting women against each other to sell clichéd t-shirts that advertise that blondes are stupid and brunettes are boring. I’ll admit that I laugh, and even ocassionally buy, these shirts, I’m old enough to know better. When The Limited Too starts peddling pre-teens this propaganda, it’s a much bigger issue.

No one wears shirts that say proudly proclaim they are tall, or short; see through blue eyes or brown; or were blessed with natural curls. Why the fascination with blondes? This Aryan ideal is still intact, only now we’ve put a Barbie doll spin on it and mass marketed it as fashion. I’m not denying that the shirts are cute, but we need to be aware of what we’re wearing.

Gap has a shoe store. Or, make that, Gap has a shoe store? Yes, Gap, Inc. (GPS) has launched a new online outlet for feet, PiperLime. Only problem is, no one seems to know, or care.

The Gap companies have been struggling to regain the immense popularity they enjoyed back when sweatshirts meant style and tapered jeans ruled the streets, not the runway. Banana Republic is holding strong as an “accessible luxury” brand, but Old Navy and Gap seem to have lost their respective ways. Old Navy brought in Todd Oldham to revive the fading brand(whose best marketing seemed to be commercials that annoyed viewers but stayed with them), and The Gap finally stopped cheapening a cultural icon with their Audrey Hepburn campaign. And who could forget the ill-fated and misconceived baby-boomer brand Forth & Towne?

I love the tagline for the Hepburn campaign, by the way, and I wish Gap would take their advertising slogan to heart.The problem with the majority of Gap’s marketing is branding-they try to be everything to everyone, and it’s just too much.The Gap offshoots of Old Navy and Banana stemmed from this idea-and they worked for awhile- but as we can see with Old Navy, not quite well, or long, enough. Gap had a solid standing as a quality clothing company with reasonable prices; definitely not a high-fashion brand, but a back-to-school staple, wear-to-work pieces that were actually comfortable, perfect weekend wear.

Now, Gap is trying, unsuccessfully, to emulate higher end designers, pushing away their current client base without pulling in their new targets. Old Navy was meant to draw in a younger, hipper crowd, but the clothes are too blah and mainstream, not worth even their ridiculously low prices. Forth & Towne alienated consumers from the get go, positioning itself as an “older” version of the Gap, as opposed to a separate entity. That is where Banana Republic has succeeded beautifully; most people don’t know they are part of Gap, Inc., while everyone knows Old Navy and Forth & Towne are (or were).

Gap needs to stick to what they are good at, what made them a major brand in the first place. This is what major, solid brands (think Nike, Apple) do so well at, what gives them staying power and financial success. Once Gap figures that out, there may be hope. They could try a retro/classic thing like Coca-Cola did after the whole New Coke fiasco.

As for PiperLime? The shoes are nice and very reminiscient of Gap’s classic look, which is a good start, but a lot of the price points are way too high for Gap shoppers. Gap is affordable; hardly anything reaches over $100, save for coats and an occasional leather bag, and that’s the way people like it. If Gap wants PiperLime to succeed as it stands now, they need to cut it loose(it’s highly tied in with Gap’s current site). If they want to make it more like a GapShoes.com, then they need to reevaluate their products and customer demographics.

Good brands know to do what they do well; they don’t waste time trying to get their hands in everything.I would like to see Gap do well, but everytime I see their ads or walk by a store window I hear Everclear’s “Everything to Everyone” in my head.

“Why don’t you ever learn? Spin around and fall down, do it again.”

I hope Gap lands on their feet. My wallet could use some cute, affordable clothes. Until then, I’m shopping at Banana.