Alison Driscoll

Anyone else noticed the recent upswing in celebrity “voice overs” or narration or whatever you want to call it? So far I’ve heard:

• Kevin Spacey for Honda
• John Corbett (Aidan on Sex and the City) for AppleBee’s (Way less annoying than Wanda Sykes, thank you!)
• David Duchovny for Purina (Which no one believed for a long time…probably ‘cuz most non X-philes don’t know who he is.)
• Patrick Dempsey for StateFarm (Swoon, I’m sold, but he is wasted behind the camera…put him on screen!)
• Stanley Tucci for ATT
• Gene Hackman for Lowe’s
• John Goodman for Dunkin Donuts (The worst ads I have ever seen. I love Hill Holiday but they need to start over. There’s no saving this campaign.)

So what’s the deal with all these talented actors going behind the camera to do voice work? I’ve always thought of that as something you start with and work your way out of, not back to. These may not all be huge stars or timeless actors, but they’re all fairly recognizable names. Kevin Spacey and Gene Hackman each have two Oscar wins, Goodman’s got a Globe and an Emmy, Tucci’s got a Tony nod…the list goes on.

My first thought was “writers’ strike,” but some of the campaigns started running before the strike began. Are they just that hard up? I doubt Gene Hackman needs to do commercials at this point in his career; he could surely find a role he likes, and if not, he’s probably not strapped for cash.

For the celeb, a commercial is easy money for easy work, and they can command more than a voice actor. They also get the chance to lend their vocal chords to a product they love or a cause they support. It’s something different for them, and I’m guessing an ego boost to be asked to be “the voice” of something.

As for the companies hiring stars for their famous phrasing? First, they can afford a bigger star for voice work than they could as an on-screen spokesperson. But the real power in using a famous voice is the “inside joke” it sets up with viewers. If you can correctly identify your favorite celebrity in a commercial, you establish a bond with that product.

I would never give State Farm a second thought if it weren’t for Patrick Dempsey. But the instant I heard his voice, they became the “cooler” (at least in my head) insurance company. State Farm also made me cooler, because I was in on the joke. Where some “less cool” viewers just heard a commercial, I heard a brand being built.

Heard any other celebrity commercials? Let me know who, or better yet, leave a link so I can check it out. Also love to hear more theories on why they do this, or the effect it has on you.

UPDATE: Michael Clarke Duncan for Quizno’s

‘Cuz I can totally see someone, hammered, having this incredible revelation that “we should advertise on the moon!” And then sobering it into Rolling Rock’s Moonvertising promotion.

I drove by the Boston Moonvertising billboard several times (it’s on my way to work) before I remembered to Google the term. I’ll admit I was duped into thinking some ridiculously cheesy advertising/technology company was going to try to buy/sell ad space on the moon. Yep, look up “gullible” and you’ll find my picture. In my defense, I drive too fast and don’t have the greatest eyesight, so I couldn’t really make out the logo.

But I did go to the site eventually, so their old-school outdoor ad worked. Kind of.

The Moonvertising site dropped the ball, in a lot of ways. It’s slow, kind of confusing, and not nearly as cool as I’d hoped. A lot of hype, not a lot of hip. I like where they’re going with the full moon parties, but they’re only in 3 states (I think; the scrolling action was really bad) and I’m not driving to Jersey for a beer I don’t really have any affinity for.

But, I love the Rolling Rock brand for trying, so I stayed on the site and hoped it delivered the cool factor I so desperately was waiting for. It didn’t. Just a few not-so-funny videos and the amusing realization that people think they are actually going to try to beam their logo onto the moon. With lasers. (Insert Austin Powers joke here.)

I love them for trying, and the creativity is great, but the website is disappointing, to say the least. They obviously wanted to create a viral campaign that would get people talking (there’s a lot of uncertainty about whether they will attempt a Moonvertisement on March 21st; my guess is no).

I’ve been contemplating dying my hair for awhile now, and last night I came thisclose to doing it. Dark. REAL dark. I figured it was time for a change; I’ve spent my whole life identifying myself as a blonde (yes, it started out natural…no one knows for sure what color I’d be now, not even my hairdresser). I had nearly talked myself into it too, running through a list of actresses who look amazing as both platinum blondes and a deep brunettes. Reese Witherspoon Walked the Line from Legally Blonde to chestnut brown. Why couldn’t I?

Because blonde has become part of my identity; it’s how I define myself. I’ve spent a large part of my life playing up the dumb blonde stereotype, using it to my advantage and preying on people’s assumptions of me, than surprising them once they thought they had me figured out. Our culture is full of blonde jokes, and I played into every single one of them. I bought the t-shirts, idolized the ditzy blonde celeb of the week. But at some point, being blonde stopped being one of many adjectives to describe me and became my main definition. I was a blonde-fun, flirty, über female.

Just look at my blog; it’s built on this “catch them off guard” idea. I’ve branded myself as a blonde in every aspect of my life. But at what point does this blonde brand stop being an extension of one as a person and completely take over?

Blonde has become a marketing strategy; not even being blonde, just blonde. It is no longer a physical trait, but a way of life, a personality type. There are tons of products that play to our advertiser-driven “blondes have more fun” philosophy.

Blonding works in much the same way that “pinkwashing” does; turn any product you can into some type of blonde joke or reference and watch sales soar. The brunette backlash brought a whole new slew of pro-brunette and anti-blonde products that merely perpetuate the worn out “blondes are better” ideal.

Essentially, advertisers are pitting women against each other to sell clichéd t-shirts that advertise that blondes are stupid and brunettes are boring. I’ll admit that I laugh, and even ocassionally buy, these shirts, I’m old enough to know better. When The Limited Too starts peddling pre-teens this propaganda, it’s a much bigger issue.

No one wears shirts that say proudly proclaim they are tall, or short; see through blue eyes or brown; or were blessed with natural curls. Why the fascination with blondes? This Aryan ideal is still intact, only now we’ve put a Barbie doll spin on it and mass marketed it as fashion. I’m not denying that the shirts are cute, but we need to be aware of what we’re wearing.

Gap has a shoe store. Or, make that, Gap has a shoe store? Yes, Gap, Inc. (GPS) has launched a new online outlet for feet, PiperLime. Only problem is, no one seems to know, or care.

The Gap companies have been struggling to regain the immense popularity they enjoyed back when sweatshirts meant style and tapered jeans ruled the streets, not the runway. Banana Republic is holding strong as an “accessible luxury” brand, but Old Navy and Gap seem to have lost their respective ways. Old Navy brought in Todd Oldham to revive the fading brand(whose best marketing seemed to be commercials that annoyed viewers but stayed with them), and The Gap finally stopped cheapening a cultural icon with their Audrey Hepburn campaign. And who could forget the ill-fated and misconceived baby-boomer brand Forth & Towne?

I love the tagline for the Hepburn campaign, by the way, and I wish Gap would take their advertising slogan to heart.The problem with the majority of Gap’s marketing is branding-they try to be everything to everyone, and it’s just too much.The Gap offshoots of Old Navy and Banana stemmed from this idea-and they worked for awhile- but as we can see with Old Navy, not quite well, or long, enough. Gap had a solid standing as a quality clothing company with reasonable prices; definitely not a high-fashion brand, but a back-to-school staple, wear-to-work pieces that were actually comfortable, perfect weekend wear.

Now, Gap is trying, unsuccessfully, to emulate higher end designers, pushing away their current client base without pulling in their new targets. Old Navy was meant to draw in a younger, hipper crowd, but the clothes are too blah and mainstream, not worth even their ridiculously low prices. Forth & Towne alienated consumers from the get go, positioning itself as an “older” version of the Gap, as opposed to a separate entity. That is where Banana Republic has succeeded beautifully; most people don’t know they are part of Gap, Inc., while everyone knows Old Navy and Forth & Towne are (or were).

Gap needs to stick to what they are good at, what made them a major brand in the first place. This is what major, solid brands (think Nike, Apple) do so well at, what gives them staying power and financial success. Once Gap figures that out, there may be hope. They could try a retro/classic thing like Coca-Cola did after the whole New Coke fiasco.

As for PiperLime? The shoes are nice and very reminiscient of Gap’s classic look, which is a good start, but a lot of the price points are way too high for Gap shoppers. Gap is affordable; hardly anything reaches over $100, save for coats and an occasional leather bag, and that’s the way people like it. If Gap wants PiperLime to succeed as it stands now, they need to cut it loose(it’s highly tied in with Gap’s current site). If they want to make it more like a GapShoes.com, then they need to reevaluate their products and customer demographics.

Good brands know to do what they do well; they don’t waste time trying to get their hands in everything.I would like to see Gap do well, but everytime I see their ads or walk by a store window I hear Everclear’s “Everything to Everyone” in my head.

“Why don’t you ever learn? Spin around and fall down, do it again.”

I hope Gap lands on their feet. My wallet could use some cute, affordable clothes. Until then, I’m shopping at Banana.